So i realized i gained weight after losing soo much weight
that's going to stop right now.
if I dont want to be overweight again then
I'm going to do something about it again
I got 5 months before I"m off to dominican republic
cross your fingers, because I want my surgeries
I need them to feel ok.
I need them so I can love myself
I didnt think, I would ever look at myself in disgust
and I have, and I dont like it.
i'm doing something about it
I got a trainer
I got some motivation
I need to find me an assuie that's super hot
that I will love hehehe
Good night :D
Saturday, January 2, 2010
To Them:
My support. You support me in everything I do, Even though you believe its crazy, even though you don't always agree, you support it. You tell me what you think.
You are my family, love is what we have for each other.
My diary. I tell you everything, even somethings you don't want to know. I tell it all to you. I dont mind you knowing me inside and out.
My Hope. There are times when I feel the whole world is going to crash against me. That's where you come in and change my positivity. Give a reason to keep fighting for what I need to fight for.
My Enemies. You tell me things I dont want to hear, you tell me the truth even though it hurts. You laugh if I fall, you laugh if i make a mistake. Have a way to really irritate me, and piss me off.
Last you are a component. A component that I need to complete myself as a whole.
You guys know who you are. If you dont know that you mean this much to me, then you probably arent any of those things I have mentioned above.
I love you my friends
Thanks for being there for me
My brothers and sisters.
You are my family, love is what we have for each other.
My diary. I tell you everything, even somethings you don't want to know. I tell it all to you. I dont mind you knowing me inside and out.
My Hope. There are times when I feel the whole world is going to crash against me. That's where you come in and change my positivity. Give a reason to keep fighting for what I need to fight for.
My Enemies. You tell me things I dont want to hear, you tell me the truth even though it hurts. You laugh if I fall, you laugh if i make a mistake. Have a way to really irritate me, and piss me off.
Last you are a component. A component that I need to complete myself as a whole.
You guys know who you are. If you dont know that you mean this much to me, then you probably arent any of those things I have mentioned above.
I love you my friends
Thanks for being there for me
My brothers and sisters.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Its 01/01/10. Wierd ain't it. Time for new beginnings. I need a change of scenery. I need a lot of things. Didn't get my last 09 kiss, and probably not gonna get an 2010, year X, kiss either. I want affection but extra things are weighing me down literally.
I feel a little different and Idk why. Hi 2010
I feel a little different and Idk why. Hi 2010
Thursday, December 31, 2009
...
Look at me, look inside me
do you see me?
Can you tell how I feel?
Can you make it out?
Do you know how much I love, how much I care?
I'm afraid to look inside your eyes
I'm afraid to see no interest
to see no love, no desire, no inspiration
if you dont love anymore, that will be painful
it will be something that will never heal
to live with such a pain will be horrendous
I cant seem to get over it
I cant seem to let it go
but I need you with me
I need you to stand beside me
but if you need to say good bye to be free and happy
Good bye
do you see me?
Can you tell how I feel?
Can you make it out?
Do you know how much I love, how much I care?
I'm afraid to look inside your eyes
I'm afraid to see no interest
to see no love, no desire, no inspiration
if you dont love anymore, that will be painful
it will be something that will never heal
to live with such a pain will be horrendous
I cant seem to get over it
I cant seem to let it go
but I need you with me
I need you to stand beside me
but if you need to say good bye to be free and happy
Good bye
More thoughts
I'm working on a piece of my mind
To make it better
To make it understand
To make it see what others see
Clean it with windex and make it spotless
Start over maybe
I just want to feel whole
I just want to learn to love
I just want to make someone understand me completely
Make you love it
Make it clean
Make it ring in your ears
Scream it
Love it
Judge it
Criticize it
To make it better
To make it understand
To make it see what others see
Clean it with windex and make it spotless
Start over maybe
I just want to feel whole
I just want to learn to love
I just want to make someone understand me completely
Make you love it
Make it clean
Make it ring in your ears
Scream it
Love it
Judge it
Criticize it
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I feel...
I have accomplished a lot in life right but nothing is ever enough.
I feel like I will never be able to finish what I have started.
I feel like crying
I feel like running and running and never stopping
I feel like I'm not good enough
I feel like the world is worth more than how we treat it
I feel like somethings aren't made to be changed
I feel like we should grow within ourselves to our stature
I feel like you should know that there's always going to be someone better than you
I feel like I will never find my life partner
I feel like I will never be in love
I feel like I care too much
I feel like the world is always turning but everything is the same
People die
People cry
People smile
People kill
People harm
People love
People hurt
People make promises
People change
"Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter." - Oscar Wilde
"I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you" -Avril Lavigne
I feel like I will never be able to finish what I have started.
I feel like crying
I feel like running and running and never stopping
I feel like I'm not good enough
I feel like the world is worth more than how we treat it
I feel like somethings aren't made to be changed
I feel like we should grow within ourselves to our stature
I feel like you should know that there's always going to be someone better than you
I feel like I will never find my life partner
I feel like I will never be in love
I feel like I care too much
I feel like the world is always turning but everything is the same
People die
People cry
People smile
People kill
People harm
People love
People hurt
People make promises
People change
"Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter." - Oscar Wilde
"I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you" -Avril Lavigne
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