Tears fell.

I didnt think I could ever be affected by what some thinks or what happens but it does and it did. Now I'm imaging my world with just a little less junk and a lot more activity. I feel like crying, I feel really sad, I dont know why but I just do. It hurts really really bad. I know what I need to do, I know what I have to do, I know how much its going to take. I know what is wrong, I know the problem. This isnt going to be easy, its going to be pretty hard. There is so much I have to give, now I want my surgeries more than ever. Now it is necessary to throw in their face how hard I have worked. I normally dont change my personal framework of mind and body for anyone else or from the criticism of others, but this time its different, this time it hurt. Blow in the face hard, stab in the heart worse. I am postulating that I will as long as what I will be doing works, there will be a new form and new status, a new me. I need help, I need strength, I need to do me.