Look at me, look inside me
do you see me?
Can you tell how I feel?
Can you make it out?
Do you know how much I love, how much I care?
I'm afraid to look inside your eyes
I'm afraid to see no interest
to see no love, no desire, no inspiration
if you dont love anymore, that will be painful
it will be something that will never heal
to live with such a pain will be horrendous
I cant seem to get over it
I cant seem to let it go
but I need you with me
I need you to stand beside me
but if you need to say good bye to be free and happy
Good bye
Thursday, December 31, 2009
More thoughts
I'm working on a piece of my mind
To make it better
To make it understand
To make it see what others see
Clean it with windex and make it spotless
Start over maybe
I just want to feel whole
I just want to learn to love
I just want to make someone understand me completely
Make you love it
Make it clean
Make it ring in your ears
Scream it
Love it
Judge it
Criticize it
To make it better
To make it understand
To make it see what others see
Clean it with windex and make it spotless
Start over maybe
I just want to feel whole
I just want to learn to love
I just want to make someone understand me completely
Make you love it
Make it clean
Make it ring in your ears
Scream it
Love it
Judge it
Criticize it
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I feel...
I have accomplished a lot in life right but nothing is ever enough.
I feel like I will never be able to finish what I have started.
I feel like crying
I feel like running and running and never stopping
I feel like I'm not good enough
I feel like the world is worth more than how we treat it
I feel like somethings aren't made to be changed
I feel like we should grow within ourselves to our stature
I feel like you should know that there's always going to be someone better than you
I feel like I will never find my life partner
I feel like I will never be in love
I feel like I care too much
I feel like the world is always turning but everything is the same
People die
People cry
People smile
People kill
People harm
People love
People hurt
People make promises
People change
"Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter." - Oscar Wilde
"I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you" -Avril Lavigne
I feel like I will never be able to finish what I have started.
I feel like crying
I feel like running and running and never stopping
I feel like I'm not good enough
I feel like the world is worth more than how we treat it
I feel like somethings aren't made to be changed
I feel like we should grow within ourselves to our stature
I feel like you should know that there's always going to be someone better than you
I feel like I will never find my life partner
I feel like I will never be in love
I feel like I care too much
I feel like the world is always turning but everything is the same
People die
People cry
People smile
People kill
People harm
People love
People hurt
People make promises
People change
"Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter." - Oscar Wilde
"I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you" -Avril Lavigne
Random things about me :D
I wanted to see how many random facts I can state about myself. Try it.
1. I can drink chocolate milk alongside anything.
2. I like to chew on plastic after I'm done eating, straws, forks, spoons etc...
3. I'm a cokeacola addict
4. It takes me forever to go to sleep
5. I love texting.. like seriously I love to do it.
6. I always have a million things I want to do, and never do them.
7. If I could just travel the world and get paid for it I would deff do it.
8. I'll do laundry and never put my cloths away
9. I love marvel movies
10. My two favorite foods are pizza and breakfast cereal
11. I love eyes and smiles
12. If I dont add gel and moose to my hair, I'll have a 70's fro
13. I love piercings and tattoos but cant have any tattoos, my favorite piercing is my tongue.
14. I always give you 2 chances... any more than that i'll have to think about it.
15. I eat ALOT of junk food.
16. My favorite flower is the tulip
17. I can listen to a song 100 times daily and not know the lyrics to them.
18. I am not a good singer but I love to sing all the time
19. I can be expressiveless in certain suitations
20. When I'm freaking out I laugh, I cant stop laughing and even though I'm dying inside I laugh
21. I love to make up words and phrases.
22. I have unbelievable low self esteem
23. No matter what I do, I bite my nails, I'm a nail biter! AHHH
24. People think I'm funny, but I think they are crazy.
25. People normally describe me as Blunt, funny, crazy, a Bitch, and so sweet.
26. I have the ugliest feet on the planet
27. I HATE sitting through a movie without popcorn.
28. If I find a book a good read, I can normally read for a minimum of 5 hours
29. I can look at the night sky for hours.
30. I have HORRIBLE grammar, believe it too. Its bad.
31. I probably says "Damn he's hott" about 5 times daily.
32. For right now I dont want to get married or have kids.
33. I'm not athetic at all. I have zip sports talent.
34. My favorite instruments are piano, and violin.
35. I can find a guy super hot and have an amazing personality wise and not like him as a boyfriend. So please dont get offended if I just dont like you.
36. I met the most amazing people this year.
37. If a pack rat, I love to keep everything. even a wrist band to my first club.
38. For new years this year I completed a 700 piece puzzle of Times Square.
39. I'm' going to have 2 major surgeries and I'm only 21.
40. I dont know how to ride a bike
41. I'm always up in my own head.
42. Its hard for me to trust people
43. I will talk about you, but if you want to know what I am saying just ask me
44. I Only find a rice grain size of things weird.
45. I like when people are straight up, just tell me no, or that you dont want to talk right now, or just not this weekend. I appreciate it.
46. I rather hear the honest truth, even if it hurts or I might be mad at you for a certain amount of time.
47. I'm always cold, so I'm always wearing a jacket.
48. I cuss a ton, I am sorry if I do it in front of your children.
49. On messenger, if I say lol, or lmao, I'm really laughing.
50. I'm going to stop here because I'm bored not because I cant continue....
1. I can drink chocolate milk alongside anything.
2. I like to chew on plastic after I'm done eating, straws, forks, spoons etc...
3. I'm a cokeacola addict
4. It takes me forever to go to sleep
5. I love texting.. like seriously I love to do it.
6. I always have a million things I want to do, and never do them.
7. If I could just travel the world and get paid for it I would deff do it.
8. I'll do laundry and never put my cloths away
9. I love marvel movies
10. My two favorite foods are pizza and breakfast cereal
11. I love eyes and smiles
12. If I dont add gel and moose to my hair, I'll have a 70's fro
13. I love piercings and tattoos but cant have any tattoos, my favorite piercing is my tongue.
14. I always give you 2 chances... any more than that i'll have to think about it.
15. I eat ALOT of junk food.
16. My favorite flower is the tulip
17. I can listen to a song 100 times daily and not know the lyrics to them.
18. I am not a good singer but I love to sing all the time
19. I can be expressiveless in certain suitations
20. When I'm freaking out I laugh, I cant stop laughing and even though I'm dying inside I laugh
21. I love to make up words and phrases.
22. I have unbelievable low self esteem
23. No matter what I do, I bite my nails, I'm a nail biter! AHHH
24. People think I'm funny, but I think they are crazy.
25. People normally describe me as Blunt, funny, crazy, a Bitch, and so sweet.
26. I have the ugliest feet on the planet
27. I HATE sitting through a movie without popcorn.
28. If I find a book a good read, I can normally read for a minimum of 5 hours
29. I can look at the night sky for hours.
30. I have HORRIBLE grammar, believe it too. Its bad.
31. I probably says "Damn he's hott" about 5 times daily.
32. For right now I dont want to get married or have kids.
33. I'm not athetic at all. I have zip sports talent.
34. My favorite instruments are piano, and violin.
35. I can find a guy super hot and have an amazing personality wise and not like him as a boyfriend. So please dont get offended if I just dont like you.
36. I met the most amazing people this year.
37. If a pack rat, I love to keep everything. even a wrist band to my first club.
38. For new years this year I completed a 700 piece puzzle of Times Square.
39. I'm' going to have 2 major surgeries and I'm only 21.
40. I dont know how to ride a bike
41. I'm always up in my own head.
42. Its hard for me to trust people
43. I will talk about you, but if you want to know what I am saying just ask me
44. I Only find a rice grain size of things weird.
45. I like when people are straight up, just tell me no, or that you dont want to talk right now, or just not this weekend. I appreciate it.
46. I rather hear the honest truth, even if it hurts or I might be mad at you for a certain amount of time.
47. I'm always cold, so I'm always wearing a jacket.
48. I cuss a ton, I am sorry if I do it in front of your children.
49. On messenger, if I say lol, or lmao, I'm really laughing.
50. I'm going to stop here because I'm bored not because I cant continue....
Katherine wrote this about me
My oldest sister;
Well Claudette Marie Gonzalez; I love you.
I love your laugh & how your so blunt about everything.
I really look up too you. Your so sophisticated & your so fun.
Your my sister; my bestfriend; & my role model.
I know sometimes we argue but i really do love you.
Obviously sisters fight and argue but in the end i know you will never let me down.
I think your gonna be successful in life because you always strive for whatever you want to do & end up excelling at it .
I want to do the same. & you need to stop being insecure cause your beautiful <3 & i love you.
Well Claudette Marie Gonzalez; I love you.
I love your laugh & how your so blunt about everything.
I really look up too you. Your so sophisticated & your so fun.
Your my sister; my bestfriend; & my role model.
I know sometimes we argue but i really do love you.
Obviously sisters fight and argue but in the end i know you will never let me down.
I think your gonna be successful in life because you always strive for whatever you want to do & end up excelling at it .
I want to do the same. & you need to stop being insecure cause your beautiful <3 & i love you.
Pain
Pain comes in many ways and hurts in many other ways.
I have felt pain in many different types from many different people
Physical pain, mental pain, emotional pain self inflicted pain, pain without reason, explainable pain, pain with tears, pain without tears, unexpressed pain, misunderstanding pain.
Pain takes away happiness little by little.
sometimes theres no way to relieve the pain.
Taking pills, expressing it, being comforted, a kiss, a hug, a letter, a piece of cake, motivation, inspiration
Can you overcome pain or can pain easily take over?
Why are people always running from pain?
Dont you learn from pain, isn't pain a warning like a neon sign that something isnt going right
are you addicted to pain any kind of pain?
would you rather feel pain than no emotion?
I have felt pain in many different types from many different people
Physical pain, mental pain, emotional pain self inflicted pain, pain without reason, explainable pain, pain with tears, pain without tears, unexpressed pain, misunderstanding pain.
Pain takes away happiness little by little.
sometimes theres no way to relieve the pain.
Taking pills, expressing it, being comforted, a kiss, a hug, a letter, a piece of cake, motivation, inspiration
Can you overcome pain or can pain easily take over?
Why are people always running from pain?
Dont you learn from pain, isn't pain a warning like a neon sign that something isnt going right
are you addicted to pain any kind of pain?
would you rather feel pain than no emotion?
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